Whats the common between most gurues, geniues and people with the ability to “understand” life and spot its patterns. They can help anyone but themselfs. They could give tips for happiness but often end up being loners. Its like the Universe tells them “Fuck you, by tring to cheat and “know” things” your punnisment – not being able to experience life. To know the game means not being able to play it.
Ignorance is a bliss. I am not sure that you could find a more truer statement than this. Its not about being stupid or smart. Its about letting go of control and trust the game/the universe. You could still receive all that knowledge – not with your brain but with your gut. Its like accepting that you are in a river and trusting its flow. Not trying to use your mind to create a boat, to reach the shore or to change the direction. Your ability to connect to life decrease with the increase usage of the brain. Basically trading experience for analytical view of the world. I dont want to be that person. I am 29 and I am not happy with my life. Whats the point?! Its like knowing the ending of the movie that would come out in a year? I dont want to be a loner. I want to fell in love, create a family and experience it in the best possible way. Right now, I am with one foot a piece on the ground and in the clouds. I sure hope that there is still chance for me to neglect the brain and its thinking. I would “try” to return to my flow, wish me luck 🙂
Often enough we reach a point in life at which we feel “unhappy”. We need some kind ofd new direction and if we are unable to find it on our own, we seek advice from the outside. These days you could meet a motivational speaker at every corner and there are plenty of speeches and books out there to inspire you. I have been there, at times you really feel that they have a positive effect on you. But how long does it last? After a reasonable time, can you continue on your own without feeling the need to listen to them anymore? Because if you could not, in a way that becomes a religion. You receive instructions and try to obey them strictly in order for you to reach a steady “happiness”. Your spontaneous nature is reduced to minimum because you trust someone else more than yourself. The “fear” of making the wrong decision becomes real.
Motivational speakers take your Ego and flip it into the other direction. You go to them with a “low confidence” Ego and they start changing it into a “high confidence” Ego. “You could be better” – thats the foundation that they install. A foundation that heavily implies that there is something wrong with you! This idea should fuel your journey to happiness – that you are never good enough! Really?! If you choose to accept it than nothing would ever satisfy you in a full and real way. There would be always a next goal and the feel of need to chase it. It wont be a choise, it would be an obligation. Take for example Cristiano Ronaldo. He has reach every possible peak that a human being could dream to achieve and yet he always seems somehow discontented. He constanly seeks validations from other people. Why is that? Because of the idea “I want to be the best” – a “High confidence” Ego. There is one other human being in history that is considered “better” than him and he cant accept it, to a degree that makes him look bitter. He has “everything” and yet its never enough.
Just because you lost your path and made decisions that you are not happy with, doesnt make you broken or unworthy. Most of that comes from “false” ideas of Yourself. They are implanted from others (close people) and Society and they guided your life to the point of unhappiness. Motivational speakers .. not all but a lot of them, plant another “false” idea – that you should be the alfa omega wolf, the leader of the pack, that you should always be on watch and prove youself to others so that they cant be better than you and so on. Imagine this – we have a small group of 100 people. They were inspired from the same source that they should become “the best”. If everyone accepts the idea that means that only ONE of them would actually achieve it, only one of them would be happy to reach his goal. You could make an argument that the top 10 would still be on a high confidence because they see the peak and they could somehow reach it … but what about the other 90 that need to follow a goal that could be never achieved?! How is that productive?
To me, happiness is accepting yourself! You could be 140kg, “fat” and “ugly” with nobody wanting to do anything with you BUT .. you should accept it. It doesnt mean that you couldnt lose weight, find your people and change your life for good. You could still want those things but not on the account of “disliking” yourself. Imagine the journey from fat John Doe to fit John Doe. It could take 365 days – in 364 of those you dont want to be into your own skin and then bum, you hit the switch and suddenly you should accept yourself? Can you smoke cigarettes for 364 days and suddenly stop at day 365? You could but that wont come natural to you. And smoking is something “obvious”. The idea that we dont like ourselfs is deeply imprinted inside our subconscious. We dont see it like a pack of cigarettes so likely you dont know that it even exist, not to mention overcoming it. You are who you are at any given moment, if you accept yourself at your lowest point – that feel that you are a foreigner in your own skin, would go away. You are perfect!
A complaint often enough, its a “cheap”(easy) stand that the Ego tooks seeking validation while knowing that other people would likely agree with it. “The goverment is bla,bla”, “The weather is too hot/cold”, “That person didnt act correctly”, “I am so unlucky because of this, this and this” and so on. Basically by complaining, the Ego puts itself into a position of being “Right” and with that, it lives on via the confirmation from other people. “Yeah, John Doe is right and he has a point”. The better effect comes with someone nodding around and agreeing but if necessary, a “lonely” person could just “mumble” under their nose. Even if the complaint has some merit, I would ask you this: Why would you voluntary repeat something that brings you down? Would you say something ala “I am such a loser, I am so unlucky”?, If you had control over it … you would not! This is “the Ego” repeating one thing, as much as it can, in order for you to accept it and believe that its actually coming from you! Thus the Ego lives through you! Many times I have seen “unlucky” people finding and fueling each other with sad stories while receiving pleasure for meeting someone with a similar fate. Not every “sad” story comes from the Ego, some times people just want to share their experience. What makes it an ego driven: its the motivation behind it, the frequency of doing it and the feeling of satisfaction that comes with finding a public for the story.
How to stop? Life its imperfect and because of that, its possible and real. The mind brings on the “Self” concepts like “good” and “bad”. If we had control, we would likely choose only “good” things to happen to us and none of the “bad”. We would never lose anyone, would always be successful and so on. At the beginning this would bring enough pleasure for us to be happy BUT soon that would change. Everything ends the same way each time, you receiving the thing you want! Love and Success would lose their weight because of the lack of risk of not having them. Life simply becomes dull! Realize the idea that “Life” just happens.That you could never really brand something as “good” or “bad” because you could never trully know its effect on you. For example, a parent passes away. You were very close and thus brand it as “bad” thing. But what if he stayed alive for twenty more years, you took care for him for that period and suddenly Life passed you by. Which is better? You could never possibly know, so why live with the deception that you could?
I really enjoy posting and sharing my views. They would always remain free and without subscriptions BUT I am thinking about purchasing Business Plan and putting a “donation” button. I would want to ask you, do you think that I provide enough quality for such measure? Do people, reading about those topics, have the habit to send donations? I know that on Twitch those that play games earn pretty well.
I have enough material to write about, its popping inside me constanly and I know that I could use the extra money .. so honest answers please 🙂