Life is simple. Life is complex. Both are .. true BUT we tend to give the later a lot more weight thus our inner balance gets lost. It becomes harder to enjoy the “smaller” things – a tree, a bird, the weather, people around us. In order for us to be happy, things need to be ambitious, “bigger”, “prettier” and far away in the future while the years until then become just a mandatory inconvenience. All of that just to catch an idea. Does person “A” have the ability to experience more happiness than person “B”?! Society says “Yes”, the Universe says “No”! We are made even, no matter of social rank, love status or wealthiness – the amount of happiness that each of us is capable to experience its even, 10/10. A person could be enjoying his simple meal or could be misserable on a table full of food. What makes the difference? The way that we view the Present Moment. And what derails us from the capability of enjoying the later – the Mind and its constant bombardment of thoughts towards us.
Often you hear people saying something along the lines “You create your happiness, its mostly a mather of perspective”. Those words have merit, we often agree with them and yet their meaning doesn’t “reach us” deep down inside and we feel miserable. In a way that comes from the fact that we put society and its goals “for living and success” above Life and its “lack” of goals.
A simple example, from Society’s perspective your purpose is to climb the social ladder and have some kind of value in order for you to “fit in”. When you do not, Society finds a way to implant guilt inside you and make you feel distant and aliеnated until you make the necessary changes. You need to be like someone else! There is “right” and “wrong” for everything – beauty, behavior, thinking. From Life’s perspective your goal is to simply exist and be alive. You could be the “strong” lion or the weak “prey”, you could be the great inventor that helps human kind or some “low” life criminal that only destroys. Life doesn’t judge you because both ends of the Spectrum are needed for it to be real and sensible. You need to be YOU and only you because you are unique and bring something new. See the difference? Sometimes goals concur in both Life and Society, for example we need to learn to be adaptable. But is that enough to put your happiness into the hands of the lower tier, subjective creation of the human mind? Instead of Life, the thing that created both us and Society?
Society’s come and go, 200 years ago it was shameful just to see a women’s hand without a glove in public, today you could see a naked one around the corner and don’t bat an eye. How many 19th century women lost “their” path because of something so funny and stupid when you looked it from the 21th century eyes. Like the great Bruce Lee has said, you need to honestly express yourself at any given moment and by honest … without the confused mind sticking random thoughts inside your head. Sometimes you would fit in, sometimes you be an outsider and sometimes you would outstrip Society. In either case, you should be You and not someone else’s tamplate. By accepting that you are not the random strong and powerful image(the Alpha, the leader, the rich, the beautiful), it doesn’t mean that you are closing the door to be one. It only means that no mather what happens, you wont feel bad and unworthy, you would honestly experience your Life for what it is. Can you ask for more than that?
Whats the common between most gurues, geniues and people with the ability to “understand” life and spot its patterns. They can help anyone but themselfs. They could give tips for happiness but often end up being loners. Its like the Universe tells them “Fuck you, by tring to cheat and “know” things” your punnisment – not being able to experience life. To know the game means not being able to play it.
Ignorance is a bliss. I am not sure that you could find a more truer statement than this. Its not about being stupid or smart. Its about letting go of control and trust the game/the universe. You could still receive all that knowledge – not with your brain but with your gut. Its like accepting that you are in a river and trusting its flow. Not trying to use your mind to create a boat, to reach the shore or to change the direction. Your ability to connect to life decrease with the increase usage of the brain. Basically trading experience for analytical view of the world. I dont want to be that person. I am 29 and I am not happy with my life. Whats the point?! Its like knowing the ending of the movie that would come out in a year? I dont want to be a loner. I want to fell in love, create a family and experience it in the best possible way. Right now, I am with one foot a piece on the ground and in the clouds. I sure hope that there is still chance for me to neglect the brain and its thinking. I would “try” to return to my flow, wish me luck 🙂
Often enough we reach a point in life at which we feel “unhappy”. We need some kind ofd new direction and if we are unable to find it on our own, we seek advice from the outside. These days you could meet a motivational speaker at every corner and there are plenty of speeches and books out there to inspire you. I have been there, at times you really feel that they have a positive effect on you. But how long does it last? After a reasonable time, can you continue on your own without feeling the need to listen to them anymore? Because if you could not, in a way that becomes a religion. You receive instructions and try to obey them strictly in order for you to reach a steady “happiness”. Your spontaneous nature is reduced to minimum because you trust someone else more than yourself. The “fear” of making the wrong decision becomes real.
Motivational speakers take your Ego and flip it into the other direction. You go to them with a “low confidence” Ego and they start changing it into a “high confidence” Ego. “You could be better” – thats the foundation that they install. A foundation that heavily implies that there is something wrong with you! This idea should fuel your journey to happiness – that you are never good enough! Really?! If you choose to accept it than nothing would ever satisfy you in a full and real way. There would be always a next goal and the feel of need to chase it. It wont be a choise, it would be an obligation. Take for example Cristiano Ronaldo. He has reach every possible peak that a human being could dream to achieve and yet he always seems somehow discontented. He constanly seeks validations from other people. Why is that? Because of the idea “I want to be the best” – a “High confidence” Ego. There is one other human being in history that is considered “better” than him and he cant accept it, to a degree that makes him look bitter. He has “everything” and yet its never enough.
Just because you lost your path and made decisions that you are not happy with, doesnt make you broken or unworthy. Most of that comes from “false” ideas of Yourself. They are implanted from others (close people) and Society and they guided your life to the point of unhappiness. Motivational speakers .. not all but a lot of them, plant another “false” idea – that you should be the alfa omega wolf, the leader of the pack, that you should always be on watch and prove youself to others so that they cant be better than you and so on. Imagine this – we have a small group of 100 people. They were inspired from the same source that they should become “the best”. If everyone accepts the idea that means that only ONE of them would actually achieve it, only one of them would be happy to reach his goal. You could make an argument that the top 10 would still be on a high confidence because they see the peak and they could somehow reach it … but what about the other 90 that need to follow a goal that could be never achieved?! How is that productive?
To me, happiness is accepting yourself! You could be 140kg, “fat” and “ugly” with nobody wanting to do anything with you BUT .. you should accept it. It doesnt mean that you couldnt lose weight, find your people and change your life for good. You could still want those things but not on the account of “disliking” yourself. Imagine the journey from fat John Doe to fit John Doe. It could take 365 days – in 364 of those you dont want to be into your own skin and then bum, you hit the switch and suddenly you should accept yourself? Can you smoke cigarettes for 364 days and suddenly stop at day 365? You could but that wont come natural to you. And smoking is something “obvious”. The idea that we dont like ourselfs is deeply imprinted inside our subconscious. We dont see it like a pack of cigarettes so likely you dont know that it even exist, not to mention overcoming it. You are who you are at any given moment, if you accept yourself at your lowest point – that feel that you are a foreigner in your own skin, would go away. You are perfect!