Often you hear people saying something along the lines “You create your happiness, its mostly a mather of perspective”. Those words have merit, we often agree with them and yet their meaning doesn’t “reach us” deep down inside and we feel miserable. In a way that comes from the fact that we put society and its goals “for living and success” above Life and its “lack” of goals.
A simple example, from Society’s perspective your purpose is to climb the social ladder and have some kind of value in order for you to “fit in”. When you do not, Society finds a way to implant guilt inside you and make you feel distant and aliеnated until you make the necessary changes. You need to be like someone else! There is “right” and “wrong” for everything – beauty, behavior, thinking. From Life’s perspective your goal is to simply exist and be alive. You could be the “strong” lion or the weak “prey”, you could be the great inventor that helps human kind or some “low” life criminal that only destroys. Life doesn’t judge you because both ends of the Spectrum are needed for it to be real and sensible. You need to be YOU and only you because you are unique and bring something new. See the difference? Sometimes goals concur in both Life and Society, for example we need to learn to be adaptable. But is that enough to put your happiness into the hands of the lower tier, subjective creation of the human mind? Instead of Life, the thing that created both us and Society?
Society’s come and go, 200 years ago it was shameful just to see a women’s hand without a glove in public, today you could see a naked one around the corner and don’t bat an eye. How many 19th century women lost “their” path because of something so funny and stupid when you looked it from the 21th century eyes. Like the great Bruce Lee has said, you need to honestly express yourself at any given moment and by honest … without the confused mind sticking random thoughts inside your head. Sometimes you would fit in, sometimes you be an outsider and sometimes you would outstrip Society. In either case, you should be You and not someone else’s tamplate. By accepting that you are not the random strong and powerful image(the Alpha, the leader, the rich, the beautiful), it doesn’t mean that you are closing the door to be one. It only means that no mather what happens, you wont feel bad and unworthy, you would honestly experience your Life for what it is. Can you ask for more than that?
A complaint often enough, its a “cheap”(easy) stand that the Ego tooks seeking validation while knowing that other people would likely agree with it. “The goverment is bla,bla”, “The weather is too hot/cold”, “That person didnt act correctly”, “I am so unlucky because of this, this and this” and so on. Basically by complaining, the Ego puts itself into a position of being “Right” and with that, it lives on via the confirmation from other people. “Yeah, John Doe is right and he has a point”. The better effect comes with someone nodding around and agreeing but if necessary, a “lonely” person could just “mumble” under their nose. Even if the complaint has some merit, I would ask you this: Why would you voluntary repeat something that brings you down? Would you say something ala “I am such a loser, I am so unlucky”?, If you had control over it … you would not! This is “the Ego” repeating one thing, as much as it can, in order for you to accept it and believe that its actually coming from you! Thus the Ego lives through you! Many times I have seen “unlucky” people finding and fueling each other with sad stories while receiving pleasure for meeting someone with a similar fate. Not every “sad” story comes from the Ego, some times people just want to share their experience. What makes it an ego driven: its the motivation behind it, the frequency of doing it and the feeling of satisfaction that comes with finding a public for the story.
How to stop? Life its imperfect and because of that, its possible and real. The mind brings on the “Self” concepts like “good” and “bad”. If we had control, we would likely choose only “good” things to happen to us and none of the “bad”. We would never lose anyone, would always be successful and so on. At the beginning this would bring enough pleasure for us to be happy BUT soon that would change. Everything ends the same way each time, you receiving the thing you want! Love and Success would lose their weight because of the lack of risk of not having them. Life simply becomes dull! Realize the idea that “Life” just happens.That you could never really brand something as “good” or “bad” because you could never trully know its effect on you. For example, a parent passes away. You were very close and thus brand it as “bad” thing. But what if he stayed alive for twenty more years, you took care for him for that period and suddenly Life passed you by. Which is better? You could never possibly know, so why live with the deception that you could?